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The problem is never in the goal!!!

You, as well as myself recognize the situation where a goal have been set and missed with confusion and even anger showing up on your doorstep. My latest miss was really a way to open my eyes towards a new solution to the problem, or should I say a new way of looking at multiple problems due to missing the goal!!

First of all, I have NOT lost my goal however the house that really tempted me was sold and in some sense the goal was not acheived. But it did give me a feeling of the famous song by Garth Brooks “The Dance”.

The story of me setting this goal is really that my two kids deserve a house with room for friends and a separate bedroom. I am greatfull for the fact that I already own my house although it is time so make thing right. The property had a small barn and a few more houses so my plan of making a tall climbing wall to my daughter, and a good size gaming/soccer room to my son would be within reach.

But that did not work out to well……


That a angel should fly along and just drop the money for it in my pocket or someone should just give me the keys to the house free of charge?

My mind started spinning. The goal that I could visualize was to be at the house and enjoying the view down in the valey below with a good cup of coffee and a big smile. The feeling of fullfillment would was also present. The whole thing was very real!!

So why is it now sold without me being the owner?

I know you have been there as well so keep on reading and let me show you some reality.


The goal was real enough and truly a great feeling, but let us get some facts on the table.

To reach a goal it has to be the result of something you did. If you would like to join a marathon the training would be the “something”, if you would like to become great at telling jokes then you have to read and memorize jokes.

If I was to own this house it would require me to: –

  • Move in to the house
  • Write a contract
  • Find the assets to buy the house
  • Check out the house and find that I like it
  • Wanting to buy a bigger/better house

So while I had everything right about the above list, one thing was the breaking point for the deal that really have made a change in how I think. I overlooked the fact that the assets had to be found and this is where the work is in order to make it.

We will continue in a few seconds however please make a similar list of the underlaying points of achieving your goal.

I found myself to have very strict rules to buy any property. 75% of it should be an asset in the form of renting out an apartement, storage in the barn or other solutions. Giving a bank full control over my property is not an option. Whenever you acheive a goal it is important that you have ownership, or the right to have it in order to use it as a foundation for the next one. Imagine reaching a goal just to loose it due to a “friend” that happens to sell his/her share of it to someone wanting to erase it again. Not smart!! You have to rely on other people in almost any case, and if the goal is truly yours (not something you want to acheive for someone else to be happy) then the ownership is yours forever.


No question, I missed the target. But as Jim Rohn says “you have to prepare for the right moment to arrive”.

This is now my way of getting ready ! There will be another house coming for sale that really will make my life even more complete so my goal is to get ready for it. I have never in my life managed to create enough resources or assets to be ready for a moment like that and it is my biggest mistake.

If I only did this or of I only did that……

So the loss gave me the luxury of finding out where my major problem is located and the conclusion is this:

  • Start with whatever recourses you have
  • Don’t sell yourself short
  • Write down all ideas that pop up in your mind
  • I will look for solution to the new goal wherever I go
  • Go for it regardless of other peoples opinion
  • The ultimate goal now is to gather knowledge and create more streams of income so the next time a dream house comes for sale i will walk over and sign the deal right away!!

You don’t miss a goal because of the size of the goal but rather due to the ignorance of what need to happen prior to acheiving the goal!

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Health responsability

You are in charge of making the best out of your own health, and it really comes true when the going gets tough. Whenever something shows up in life that you can not control 100% yourself then make sure whatever can be controlled is taken care of.

I found this out in a real quick way due to the sarcoidosis and since I am back on pretty heavy dosis of medications again, it really challenge who I am.

My sarcoidosis have decided to be locatet in the lungs and what I can do is to loose weight and tune my body so it needs less oxygen in order to do it’s job. The doctors are excellent in my case and have really done, and continues to, do everything in their power to help me out. However, the quiestion is what I can provide to take charge of MY part of the deal.


It is extremely important to be realistic to yourself when something strikes that needs attention. What would motivate you? Where can you get some support? What in you own personality will make the effort last?

I myself is a thinker and likes to look at progress over time so a sportswatch is truly a very good motivator. If competition triggers you it will really be at good aid to go for a solution that delivers. My choices are Garmin, Polar and maybe look into some smartwatches. Although a philosophy of getting help where the pro’s are is always the best way to go.

Put on some gear that measures pulse, distance and gives a detailed map regarding to where you exercise and start setting benchmarks. Success is the motivation and engine for progress. However progress drives success so both are completely dependent on each other.

So start with a walk in the neighbourhood and measure, take day off and do it again with added effort. It probably would not be a good idea to run so keep it cool for a while. The running will come when you feel ready. The goal is just to shave off a few seconds on the first trip. Keep on doing it, the increments and improvements may be small however look for anything that is better than last time. A second off the time, added a bit to the distance, lower pulse or anything that feels good.

Pretty soon your feels less important and the feeling of success improves the opinion on yourself. It really works and I will keep you updated on my improvement. Hopefully I can give someone the inspiration to start changing the apporach to life and problems.


If you make a bad print of a picture it may be altered and re-printed. However the exact same picture can not be shot twice. This also goes with fighting a illness. I can waste time and look for a source, or I can leave that to the professionals and experts, set a baseline for who I am and improve on my future. It is way more important in my mind to find a cure for the illness than to go back an re-create the beginning of it in order to change what caused it. If I ever get well from the Sarcoidosis I might spend time on figuring out why, however until that point I will focus on how to heal and cure. To many people digs into the cause rather than look for the cure, the cause will always be the past however the cure will be somewhere in the future. I can alter and improve on my future!!! I will fight for it and do the best in order to keep up with my kids.

A part of my lungs will be gone forever, however I will make it improve me in all other areas and use it as fuel for my plans in the future!! Don’t ever let resitance stop you, just keep on moving even if it seems like a slight de-tour compared to the original plan!!!


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And you will feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime is an ancient quote and widely used.

However, something is left out of the quote that I really believe makes more of a difference. However if you listen to Bob Proctor and his beginning of a career the quote do work if the receiver will accept to change. Bob put trust into the person that started changing his life.

Yet another choice

A lot of people acts, lives and actually is the man however at the same time knows what fish they want to catch. With the greatest patience they sit by the lake just waiting for the fish to jump into the basket. Other people sit by the lake and actually puts the line into the water, tries different bait on a stick and line put together by themselves.

Another way to get ahead is to actually find the person that knows how to fish and ask him to show you how. At one street corner there is a man in a wheelchair begging for money, in a building not to far away is the US President. Also in a wheelchair. Not everyone may become a President, however the mind works even though the feet do not.

Sometimes someone shows up that will give you unexpected solutions or chances in life, however until that happens, go look for that person or resource yourself!!! It is within you, but sometimes someone, something or some place needs to help you in getting it to the surface.

Look for it, don’t chase it or wait for it. It will surface.

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If you blame someone else for something you better start reading in order to get a reality check.

Part of my work as a team leader at work is to listen to people talk and explain the reasons for missing a budget or any other goal they set. One of the best excuses ever is still an ongoing case in one of the workers mind.

The system works like this. We have a certain number of booked meeting the company organizes for us during a month. For a employee being in our company the number is maximum 8, however there is no guarantee for it. The budget for each person is a mach of the number of maximum number of booked meetings.

Mr. L gets a extra meeting from me in order to help him towards budget however he manages to pass the meeting on to someone else on my team. Mr. E grabs the chance and being a good salesrep makes 3 sales on this meeting.

Mr. L has ever since it happened been chasing down Mr. E in order to return the meeting since he feels he lost 3 sales. Every month he comes up with the useless idea that Mr. E has to return the meeting and regrets his former action.

Who or what event do you blame for being unsuccessfull today? This is poison to any chance of acheivement in life. Dragging the past with you is a lot more work than letting the future pull you!!


If you make a choice then stick with it and give the downsides of the choice a proper good bye and do not plan on ever seeing them again. Grab the benefit of the choice and run!! If it turns out to be a bad choice then make a new one however DO NOT try to catch up with your old option, it is gone and your new experience will make you able to create an option never seen before.

The truth is that Mr. L would never have made the three sales at the same meeting. His skills and experience would very likely have cancelled the whole deal and sent our customer into the hands of your competitor. He just can not see this and refuses to realize that his option saved him from a bad experience. He gained more than he lost on the whole deal however in his mind is it a pure loss. He re-lives this loss over and over again, wich is also a choice. If he could just live THIS moment and forward!!


Take a walk, think about the question for a while and see what answers that comes to mind. Write them down and pay attention to them.


Write it down, remember it and stick it to your mind, however this is not the most important part of your reason for making decisions. The goal is simply the result, not the work itself.

Let me explain a bit.

I have a specific goal of buying a house in the neighbourhood. I love the house, it has a fairly big property attached and would truly have enough space for my kids to have visitors, sleepovers. It even comes with a small barn that I can make a climbing wall, photo studio and more that would expand my life.

This is my goal.

However, reversing the thought a bit explains my smaller areas of focus. To get the property I need to sign the contract, in order to sign I need the financing, to get the financing I need to help someone in a way that pays enough.

What do I do and who do I help? This is the key question. It will unlock the rest.

The same journey goes for all new goals no matter how small or big. But you can not go back and help someone that already have been helped. It will not help a bit for Mr L to get a meeting in return unless i gambles on luck. A sales meeting with 3 sales happens maybe 5 times a year among our 20 salespeople. The best would be to determine that he will do what it takes to find 3 customers on his own, the actual rate of sales on booked meeting is about 55%.

Everything else will be a bonus.


With that YOU are in charge of YOU. Do not count on someone else to save you from previous mistakes or bad choices. Look for a new choice and do it in a wiser matter!! Make sure you set the details in order to acheive YOUR goal. If someone shows up with anything extra then first of all be extremely greatfull!! Second of all, do not let it slow down your own effort!! Save it for a rainy day. Just make sure your progress is YOUR choice in order to grow an YOUR mistakes and successes. To blame someone or something will keep you in the past and I have yet to meet anyone that have set a goal in their past!! Goals are set for the future and in order to make then you have to grow towards it, this is done by owning yourself and growing yourself. In any way you possibly can. Give yourself credit for everything that happens in life and you will see that life evolves step by step.

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Loosing weight

It really boils down to one simple thing. Do what is right for your body. Thats it!!!

I know that many people would like me to write a post of a thousand words to explain the how, but there are two main ingredients in loosing weight:

  1. Eat what your body finds usefull

Then you have to make a choice every time you eat something. Will it gain my weightloss and “new” me? If the answer is yes then you can go ahead and eat. If no, then go hungry for a bit until you find something that makes sense to eat. Most people that needs to loose weight can hold off 3o mins extra in order to eat what gets them closer to the goal. On my way home tonight it was 4 bananas on my menu and it feels great!!

2. Get moving!!! Basicly the same idea as the food. Just do what gets you closer to the ideal you can see in you mind. You will not run a marathon just because you have decided to do so, but run in shorter increments and it really picks up speed and momentum quick.

I agreed with the people at work to exersice once every tuesday along with them. The food and rest of the training will be completely up to me. My success and my failure, whatever the choosing.

I have been at 90kg before, the real challenge will be to stay there and expand on it. I already love the journey!!

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Gaining life and giving weight

This is it, 90 kg is set as a goal and in order to do this my plan is to gain a better physical health and the weight will be a result of this. I will give myself 40 days to acheive this goal. That would be 12th of May.

One of my best weapons will be my trusted Polar RCX5 training watch since this is what I have. Hopefully I will be able to give the readers of this post a review of some options regarding fitness watches.

My favourite workouts:

Hiking in the woods


Biking, preferably on trails

If at the gym: Treadmill, bike and step

The very best on my part is being in fresh air, using the body itself as a instrument.

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Can I really change that much?

I have not set my goals on a timely manner yet since this is the first beginning of my new journey.

My challenges:

  • 104 kg weight, wants to be 90kg since I have tried it before and know the great feeling. Watch my progress!
  • I live in a house that is to small for my two kids (4 and 6 yrs), they deserve a room on their own and space to be themselves. Not talking about a mansion, just big enough. I have found what I want, but cannot afford it, that is I have not found the solution yet. They say that money is never the issue, it is the approach to a problem that decides success or failure.
  • My sister lives in TX and I want to have the recources and freedom to visit when needed.
  • Starting a US business
  • Creating a brand
  • Helping kids reach their potential and not loose the ability to dream, work for the invisible and make it visible.
  • I currently have Sarcoidosis and at some times this is very tough on motivation. So to remove it completely would be the ultimate solution, however just getting my body in shape would remove a lot of the tough effects of the illness.


“If the WHY is big enough, a man can bare with almost any “how” – Viktor E. Frankl

It is said that you cannot get without giving and it is very true!! First of all I have to give my time to my goals. I will also have to say goodbye to many old habits and limits.

One of my worst enemies is the habit of trying to make everything happen without help. Not knowing why, but I think there may be something inside me and it would be truly a discovery to get in touch with someone that could put this in perspective for me!! So please add a suggestion in the comments if you know anyone that could help me out. So I have to start giving trust to people.

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My cousine has a old log wall incorporated into his new house and it is really just part of a wall. Today I visited a customer and she told some stories regarding her husband flying mosquito airplanes during the same war. Part of his job was to fly on the border of Russia just so Norway would tell the Russians that they still claimed the rights for their country.

The year is 1941 and the 2nd WW is gaining momentum in Norway and the German tanks came rolling along a dirt road about 200 yards from my granddads house. He was just a little kid and when the machine guns fired their bullits through their house and into the back wall it was time for everyone to run into the basement. Sitting in the basement, then being about 12 years old my granddad and his smaller sister hides as the ground shakes and the tanks rolls infront of the house. The German soldiers opens the door to the house, checks everywhere for people but find no one. That is, one soldier do find someone.

A soldier opens the door to the basement and the kids starts to cry. Who was in the door that day we will never know however when hearing the cry he just closed the door, walked out of the house and left with his fellow men back into the war.

No question that the soldier had a heart that was more important than his machine gun!!!

You being alive is against the odds

Did you ever thing about how lucky you are to 1. be alive and 2. being born as a human that can alter life itself? If you became a potato instead of a human it would change a lot!!! And the dangers of living exeeds the chances of living every single day!!

And yet you are here, able to make a new day and alter everything you choose based on choices given. And we still complain about the weather.

Look upon it really pessimistic and every time you meet a car it is great to not be unlucky, when eating food you don’t chocke on it or get sick. Someone in the neighbourhood got robbed and it was not you it happened to. This is just e few things to really make you feel lucky to be alive.

The shift to reason

In my case it is based on pure compassion regarding being who I am and actually being alive. If that German soldier had followed orders my path would have changed completely. I may not even have been given the chance to live.

It is if there is a reason somewhere and I may very well discover it one day. The reason to be alive, and the answer to it is firmly embedded into yourself. Some figure it out early and some late, those who don’t spend any time on it is missing something really cool.

When you starting to ask yourself the question “why I am here, what can I give to this world?” It will most likely be a very odd question in the beginning however it will evolve within you. Start writing down all the answers you get and before you know it the correct answer will be written down and it is time to get into action.

Go bet on yourself!! The fact that you can read this and your whole heritage has brought you to this very moment is remarkable and now it is your turn. Live your purpose like never before!! Get out there and enjoy!!