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44 and finished?

I’m fighting, really fighting. My kids are in the back and my girlfriend is next to me and I am almost crying. Is this the way it was supposed to be? No money in the bank and not being able to afford anything?

I really think that I am not the only one and it shows very clearly when the suicide rates are increasing among men and the honest truth is that someting just do not work. And now I can see why and it is not supposed to be an excuse for anything however if this can help someone it would please me.

I called the bank and asked if they could help and they declined since I have two kids and according to their excel sheet, it is too expensive for me. I have never missed a deadline in my life on a morgage and the very reason I am asking for help is to avoid it in the future. I am stuck and smile when the kids come downstairs in the morning although on the inside I am split apart like a zipper on a jacket. I don’t give up and this may be the very thing that have put me in this position. Even when things clearly do not work I still hold on hoping it will turn.

My mind plays this trick on me “they don’t mean that”, “she will change”, “I will find a solution”. What really happens is that I often becomes influenced by other people before they even have said anything. “she won’t approve that”, “he will get after me for that”, “I want to change my life but i don’t have the money” and this is without even having the person in the same room. Everyone has the same problem and it really holds them back in any perspective of life. This is a reason why people loose their self and gets so far out in the woods that it is hard to get back home.

To many people fights for their financial foundaition since this is more important than the physical world. It is a broad statement however in many cases it is true. We become slaves to the economy and hence measures our life compared to others. And to no surprise. I went to the bank in order to be able to buy clothes and shoes for my kids, and not because I enjoy the morgage. Being in my mid 40tys and just had my first bankrupcy and having no experience with such failure it really is a struggle to convince others that this is a tough period and it will pass. It is a financial winter, the trick is to have enough firewood to heat the food and keep warm. Money is todays firewood.

Do I quit? NO. But honestly, it would probably be better to have a shoulder to cry on sometimes, even at 44 years old, than to buy a coaching lesson from someone. I think grown men sometimes need just that, I have been tough and kept my face straight for years and it just does not work. In order to get back up sometimes you need to sit down first. And when you find someone that is willing to sit down and just let all your fuses and safety valves break and open to shut down for a little bit, it helps with getting back up.

44 and fighting. Reading all the good advices and taking courses to improve and I know there are more people of the same. The other day I stoped by another mid life man and jokingly said that maybe his daughter would grow up to become an electrician just like himself. He replied “I hope not”. It proves to me that more people struggle with regrets of their former choices and it is probably the biggest disease we have on this planet.

I really want to travel, I want to grab my kids and get on a plane to somewhere and show them that this is an amazing place. Show them that the oportunities, creativity and inovation that they can not see in the daily life do exist. Not only on a screen, but it is real!! I want to show them the biggest building in the world, the greenest grass, biggest farm, importance of the rain forest and how nature is put together and balanced. I want to find out who I really am and if there is a better version of me, locked up inside of me but scared to show itself for others. I want to buy old buildings in USA and elsewhere and turn them into places where people can visit and see fot themselves that it can be done! I like the soul of the work better than the finished result. The reason for the rich man to have a clean home is that someone empties the trash can on the curb.

But I am held back by the feeling and the impression that a good family sticks together. I am accepting that I need to limit myself and not go places because my girlfriend wants to live the life of her mom. My granddad wanted to be a aircraft engineer, he even rented a house and started the work however, in order not to disapoint the pride of his dad, he went back to farming insted of going for his dream. I do not think i he went back in order to save the farm, he went back to avoid the fights of the family and to do what someone else expected of him. I can almost hear my great granddad preaching for his son that all he had been fighting for would be lost if he didn’t get back home and saved the family pride.

I will never know the true story, but when I bought the farm to save it from being sold to someone outside the family, my granddad was disapointed that his lifes work did not leave much financial return. He farmed the best he could and did everything seemingly right for the family. He took care of everyone and took care of his land better than anyone. But I think he lived his whole life based on a choice of pleasing his dad. And for all I know maybe his dad did the same thing. Maybe the habit of being stuck can be traced for generations? Maybe the men in their 40tys just did not let go of the former generations habits? A slave is someone that sacrifice his life for the integrity. In other words, he would rather have a poor life and follow others opinion rather than die.

It is interesting that we turn ourselves into slaves for others in a world that do not demand it. We feel it being wrong to follow our own voice. We want to be happy howver we wrongfully believe that commiting to others peoples lack of respect for a free choice is more worth than helping others in the way we choose.

If I don’t go for what I want, I will please one person. If I do follow my passion I can please millions of people. And maybe the people I am trying to please the old way is not even above ground? Am I pleasing the dead instead of loving the living? No wonder my life is depressing, no wonder I feel lonely. No wonder I some days want to live among the dead.

I see now the insanity in it. My feeling is connected to my genes. My habits are formed by bad habbits of my former generations. If just one person in my family would have gone for their dream (now thinking about it, my dad actually did however never got acknowledged for it). I now see that my dads family have more of the creator in it. They live on family ground however the old buildings are gone, the life they lived are remembered and honored however the life itself is their own. We all come from two families that most likely is totally different. So far I have followed the one that, in the past, did not go for their own integrity.

How do I become the link in the chain that by choice breaks and releases the possibility and proves that breaking is the best thing you can do. Break loose and let other do the same. Living on other peoples lack of the same thing. We ususally thinks of a slave as a poor person and the master of being evil due to his punishment of others.


Then why do we enslave ourselves and punish ourself? We are the poor and the evil to ourselves. The oposite is rich and helpfull. You can help more people by showing them what you love, and showing them can only be performed by doing what you love.

The work is in breaking the chains that have kept generations locked up. How do I do that?


I will try to write that out in the next post. Keep on, find out what you want.

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Day two!!

Feeling the change in finally having a goal set for this month and the important thing now will be to act quick and make decissions.

I am on the right path and my 30 + minute walk is done and I have paid off all bills in order to have complete control of my finances. This may not seem like a revolution, however to get a system for the small things makes for a good foundation.

So one of my tasks is to work consistent in order to more sources of income. So I registered for a photo exibition, shooting pictures at a offroad bike contest and created a page with portofolio online. The portofolio was shared on a facebook page and the progress is ongoing.

Only thing left today is to make a “to do list” for tomorrow. The key nowadays will always be ACTION!! Acting on ideas and hunches, keep developing new stuff and creating new ideas for more ways of making money.

Life will be busy, but 2020 will be a gamechanger!!

Oh, and at the very end. I did schedule an appiontment with a financial councelor in order to get more out of my money. This will happen on Monday.


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Day one

I woke up this morning with a clear message in my mind. You have to gain a complete status of who you are when it comes to 1. finances and 2. Physical Health.

So I started this morning with two Excel spreadsheets, one with finances and one with measurements and weight. My first goals for this year is now set, triple my income and loose 19 kg of weight. I have also manifested a few things I want in my life and although it may need som adjustments, it certainly makes me feel like life is turning already!

My work from today is to find the way to the goal, however as Steve Jobs so famous stated “you can only connect the dots looking backwards”. My aim is to start making dots:-)

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“Without health you have nothing” is a common saying among people and to me it is true. I now weigh about 108kg and about 3 years ago the scale showed 90kg. No question about it, at 90kg I proudly presented myself and gained confidence every day. I had my routes timed and it was a constant challenge to get a bit better, every second early was a big victory.

One of the main reasons for this was that in 2016 I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis in my lungs and it really hit me that this could become pretty bad. It was already pretty bad since my maximum efforts could be measured going up the stairs at home. I used it as a spring board to start working out and lost about 19 kg in a year, and kept the scale dropping. It all changed one morning and I will get back to you on this episode however it was a proof that I will change when the sudden mental pressure is high.

So I know I can. I am now back on the path I used to be and will start to work my way to 90 kg again. You see, there is a double victory in it. Number one being the weight loss, however the second is the fact that my medication is supposed to create an increase in weight and fat on my body. I proved it wrong before so my job now is really to replicate the happening.

But what happened?

I do belive in Bob Proctor and his team although I never (yet) did meet any of them. However in one of the first videos I was watching of Bob he explains the paradigm of our minds as a thermostat that makes sure everything stays the same. My brain was looking for a way out of this new habit and finally found it. That one event changed my priority in life from myself to my kids and at the same time my mind and body started changing back to “normal” and here I am. Stuck at 108kg. My breathing is better however my muscles are weaker so talking a walk is slower and demands more of my lungs than before. My starting point is in such a way better in many ways. The problem may be in feeling it as an easy task to reach the goal. Another stumbling block is to forget reality and belive it is already done before the scale shows the proof.

This is one of the major problems with people. They forget to live in the “now”. Your actions now makes the path of your results and acheivements. The effort and work is what happens before the goal is reached and many people do not catch this point. Most people when they pay with a credit card plans on making the money to pay it all back, however some puts in the work first and then get what they need.

There is no cheating with a body. Eat unhealthy and it will change you in one way, eat healthy and it will change you in a different way. If you eat unhealthy and plan on getting in better shape you will pay with spending more time than if you had a good diet. The difference equals the interest on a credit card. Spend first and then you pay more.

So my first plan on Health is to change my diet and take a walk of at least 30 minutes each day. I will eat sweets every now an then, but truth to be told, I now buy a candy every day and it needs to be changed to every friday and saturday.

An this starts my road to goal no. 4!!

Please follow me and the progress. And the expansion on my blog and other channels. I will keep you posted!!

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Purpose of a Generation

In my opinion, the only reason for starting a new generation is to improve and progress in the work that the previous one did. This is not to say that one generation has to work in the same profession.

The world has luckily changed for the most part and people may become what they want and not what the previous generation demands of them. My experience within this is very personal since my great granddad demanded that my granddad should move back to the farm instead of progressing as an aircraft mechanic. My granddad obeyed and became a really good farmer although never really felt proud or happy about it. This became clear as he got closer to the end of his life in form of being more angry, confused, sad and dissatisfied than ever before. He was a star in his profession, although it came with the price of a genuine life.

This is a very important lesson for the next generations!!! Become who you want to become, not one that someone else would like you to be!!!

Stars and getting to the stars.

The oldest calender that has been discovered so far is about 10 000 years old. Approx year 8000 b.c there was a calendar created using stars.

I would believe that in the process of making this calendar, the person had to be wondering how to get out to the stars or at least to the moon. And here we are on the same planet with ambitions to make footprints on Mars, travel around the moon on vacation!!

Just think for a second on the generations in between that progressed this idea and by greating anything from metal and electric wire to space suits and food to eat in space. Probably millions of patents had to be made for this idea to become reality.

And this is where the progressive system of generations comes in. Edison invented the lightbulb, however his kind of a lightbulb is being reengineered nowadays into LED lights that requires a fraction of the energy that the old ones demanded.

The bow and arrow has progressed to long range missils, the first black and white photo (or at least what can be called a picture) has progressed to a camera with taking pictures of a night sky full of stars.

I am looking forward, through this website to show and work with the growth that follows generations. The progress may feel incremental in the daily experience of people and things. However it will be a pleasure to bring forward what has been done, and show the child of today how important it is to add value to what is already working. And it all starts with an enviroment wich allows the child to think and then act on the solution he or she finds correct.

Welcome to us at!!

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What do you tell yourself, and why.

Two people are facing the same obstacle:

Two 4 year old children are in the store and looking at a chocolate, one of them tear up and thinks “I can’t afford that”. The other thinks “I will be able to afford that chocolate!”.

Two 8 year old children are in the sports store and looking at the bike of their life!! One of them tear up and thinks “I can’t afford that”. The other thinks “I will be able to afford that bike!”.

Two 17 year old people are looking at the dream car of their life, it would change the way they live life.
One of them tear up and thinks “I can’t afford that”. The other thinks “I will be able to afford that car!”

Two parents are looking on the dream house that would make the kids thrive, big enough for a xmas party and live a totaly different life.
One of them tear up and thinks “I can’t afford that”. The other thinks “I will be able to afford that house!”

Two people are looking at a dream cruise with 3 weeks of luxury, the kids moved out and the spare time is finally there.
One of them tear up and thinks “I can’t afford that”. The other thinks “I will be able to afford that cruise!”


Along with the two 4 years old are their grand parents. The grand parents of one of the children buys the chocolate for him/her, however the other child gets a task to do before the chocolate is bought and has, by doing the task, to add value to someones life in order to get it.

The exact same situation happens with the bike and I would like you to make up you mind of which 4 year old becomes witch grand parent later on in life.

This value and knowledge is exchanged for money and ultimately the child goes and buy the bike. Proudly rides it and proudly remember the acheivements that happened in order to get the bike.


Who are you? How do you react to realizing your dream and acheiving what you really want in life? In what way can you at value to others in order to get to where you want to go?

Write down the answer to those questions and start adding value.

Read the story again and make up your mind of witch child becomes which grandparent. Who are you? What is your value?

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The problem is never in the goal!!!

You, as well as myself recognize the situation where a goal have been set and missed with confusion and even anger showing up on your doorstep. My latest miss was really a way to open my eyes towards a new solution to the problem, or should I say a new way of looking at multiple problems due to missing the goal!!

First of all, I have NOT lost my goal however the house that really tempted me was sold and in some sense the goal was not acheived. But it did give me a feeling of the famous song by Garth Brooks “The Dance”.

The story of me setting this goal is really that my two kids deserve a house with room for friends and a separate bedroom. I am greatfull for the fact that I already own my house although it is time so make thing right. The property had a small barn and a few more houses so my plan of making a tall climbing wall to my daughter, and a good size gaming/soccer room to my son would be within reach.

But that did not work out to well……


That a angel should fly along and just drop the money for it in my pocket or someone should just give me the keys to the house free of charge?

My mind started spinning. The goal that I could visualize was to be at the house and enjoying the view down in the valey below with a good cup of coffee and a big smile. The feeling of fullfillment would was also present. The whole thing was very real!!

So why is it now sold without me being the owner?

I know you have been there as well so keep on reading and let me show you some reality.


The goal was real enough and truly a great feeling, but let us get some facts on the table.

To reach a goal it has to be the result of something you did. If you would like to join a marathon the training would be the “something”, if you would like to become great at telling jokes then you have to read and memorize jokes.

If I was to own this house it would require me to: –

  • Move in to the house
  • Write a contract
  • Find the assets to buy the house
  • Check out the house and find that I like it
  • Wanting to buy a bigger/better house

So while I had everything right about the above list, one thing was the breaking point for the deal that really have made a change in how I think. I overlooked the fact that the assets had to be found and this is where the work is in order to make it.

We will continue in a few seconds however please make a similar list of the underlaying points of achieving your goal.

I found myself to have very strict rules to buy any property. 75% of it should be an asset in the form of renting out an apartement, storage in the barn or other solutions. Giving a bank full control over my property is not an option. Whenever you acheive a goal it is important that you have ownership, or the right to have it in order to use it as a foundation for the next one. Imagine reaching a goal just to loose it due to a “friend” that happens to sell his/her share of it to someone wanting to erase it again. Not smart!! You have to rely on other people in almost any case, and if the goal is truly yours (not something you want to acheive for someone else to be happy) then the ownership is yours forever.


No question, I missed the target. But as Jim Rohn says “you have to prepare for the right moment to arrive”.

This is now my way of getting ready ! There will be another house coming for sale that really will make my life even more complete so my goal is to get ready for it. I have never in my life managed to create enough resources or assets to be ready for a moment like that and it is my biggest mistake.

If I only did this or of I only did that……

So the loss gave me the luxury of finding out where my major problem is located and the conclusion is this:

  • Start with whatever recourses you have
  • Don’t sell yourself short
  • Write down all ideas that pop up in your mind
  • I will look for solution to the new goal wherever I go
  • Go for it regardless of other peoples opinion
  • The ultimate goal now is to gather knowledge and create more streams of income so the next time a dream house comes for sale i will walk over and sign the deal right away!!

You don’t miss a goal because of the size of the goal but rather due to the ignorance of what need to happen prior to acheiving the goal!

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Health responsability

You are in charge of making the best out of your own health, and it really comes true when the going gets tough. Whenever something shows up in life that you can not control 100% yourself then make sure whatever can be controlled is taken care of.

I found this out in a real quick way due to the sarcoidosis and since I am back on pretty heavy dosis of medications again, it really challenge who I am.

My sarcoidosis have decided to be locatet in the lungs and what I can do is to loose weight and tune my body so it needs less oxygen in order to do it’s job. The doctors are excellent in my case and have really done, and continues to, do everything in their power to help me out. However, the quiestion is what I can provide to take charge of MY part of the deal.


It is extremely important to be realistic to yourself when something strikes that needs attention. What would motivate you? Where can you get some support? What in you own personality will make the effort last?

I myself is a thinker and likes to look at progress over time so a sportswatch is truly a very good motivator. If competition triggers you it will really be at good aid to go for a solution that delivers. My choices are Garmin, Polar and maybe look into some smartwatches. Although a philosophy of getting help where the pro’s are is always the best way to go.

Put on some gear that measures pulse, distance and gives a detailed map regarding to where you exercise and start setting benchmarks. Success is the motivation and engine for progress. However progress drives success so both are completely dependent on each other.

So start with a walk in the neighbourhood and measure, take day off and do it again with added effort. It probably would not be a good idea to run so keep it cool for a while. The running will come when you feel ready. The goal is just to shave off a few seconds on the first trip. Keep on doing it, the increments and improvements may be small however look for anything that is better than last time. A second off the time, added a bit to the distance, lower pulse or anything that feels good.

Pretty soon your feels less important and the feeling of success improves the opinion on yourself. It really works and I will keep you updated on my improvement. Hopefully I can give someone the inspiration to start changing the apporach to life and problems.


If you make a bad print of a picture it may be altered and re-printed. However the exact same picture can not be shot twice. This also goes with fighting a illness. I can waste time and look for a source, or I can leave that to the professionals and experts, set a baseline for who I am and improve on my future. It is way more important in my mind to find a cure for the illness than to go back an re-create the beginning of it in order to change what caused it. If I ever get well from the Sarcoidosis I might spend time on figuring out why, however until that point I will focus on how to heal and cure. To many people digs into the cause rather than look for the cure, the cause will always be the past however the cure will be somewhere in the future. I can alter and improve on my future!!! I will fight for it and do the best in order to keep up with my kids.

A part of my lungs will be gone forever, however I will make it improve me in all other areas and use it as fuel for my plans in the future!! Don’t ever let resitance stop you, just keep on moving even if it seems like a slight de-tour compared to the original plan!!!


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And you will feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime is an ancient quote and widely used.

However, something is left out of the quote that I really believe makes more of a difference. However if you listen to Bob Proctor and his beginning of a career the quote do work if the receiver will accept to change. Bob put trust into the person that started changing his life.

Yet another choice

A lot of people acts, lives and actually is the man however at the same time knows what fish they want to catch. With the greatest patience they sit by the lake just waiting for the fish to jump into the basket. Other people sit by the lake and actually puts the line into the water, tries different bait on a stick and line put together by themselves.

Another way to get ahead is to actually find the person that knows how to fish and ask him to show you how. At one street corner there is a man in a wheelchair begging for money, in a building not to far away is the US President. Also in a wheelchair. Not everyone may become a President, however the mind works even though the feet do not.

Sometimes someone shows up that will give you unexpected solutions or chances in life, however until that happens, go look for that person or resource yourself!!! It is within you, but sometimes someone, something or some place needs to help you in getting it to the surface.

Look for it, don’t chase it or wait for it. It will surface.

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If you blame someone else for something you better start reading in order to get a reality check.

Part of my work as a team leader at work is to listen to people talk and explain the reasons for missing a budget or any other goal they set. One of the best excuses ever is still an ongoing case in one of the workers mind.

The system works like this. We have a certain number of booked meeting the company organizes for us during a month. For a employee being in our company the number is maximum 8, however there is no guarantee for it. The budget for each person is a mach of the number of maximum number of booked meetings.

Mr. L gets a extra meeting from me in order to help him towards budget however he manages to pass the meeting on to someone else on my team. Mr. E grabs the chance and being a good salesrep makes 3 sales on this meeting.

Mr. L has ever since it happened been chasing down Mr. E in order to return the meeting since he feels he lost 3 sales. Every month he comes up with the useless idea that Mr. E has to return the meeting and regrets his former action.

Who or what event do you blame for being unsuccessfull today? This is poison to any chance of acheivement in life. Dragging the past with you is a lot more work than letting the future pull you!!


If you make a choice then stick with it and give the downsides of the choice a proper good bye and do not plan on ever seeing them again. Grab the benefit of the choice and run!! If it turns out to be a bad choice then make a new one however DO NOT try to catch up with your old option, it is gone and your new experience will make you able to create an option never seen before.

The truth is that Mr. L would never have made the three sales at the same meeting. His skills and experience would very likely have cancelled the whole deal and sent our customer into the hands of your competitor. He just can not see this and refuses to realize that his option saved him from a bad experience. He gained more than he lost on the whole deal however in his mind is it a pure loss. He re-lives this loss over and over again, wich is also a choice. If he could just live THIS moment and forward!!


Take a walk, think about the question for a while and see what answers that comes to mind. Write them down and pay attention to them.


Write it down, remember it and stick it to your mind, however this is not the most important part of your reason for making decisions. The goal is simply the result, not the work itself.

Let me explain a bit.

I have a specific goal of buying a house in the neighbourhood. I love the house, it has a fairly big property attached and would truly have enough space for my kids to have visitors, sleepovers. It even comes with a small barn that I can make a climbing wall, photo studio and more that would expand my life.

This is my goal.

However, reversing the thought a bit explains my smaller areas of focus. To get the property I need to sign the contract, in order to sign I need the financing, to get the financing I need to help someone in a way that pays enough.

What do I do and who do I help? This is the key question. It will unlock the rest.

The same journey goes for all new goals no matter how small or big. But you can not go back and help someone that already have been helped. It will not help a bit for Mr L to get a meeting in return unless i gambles on luck. A sales meeting with 3 sales happens maybe 5 times a year among our 20 salespeople. The best would be to determine that he will do what it takes to find 3 customers on his own, the actual rate of sales on booked meeting is about 55%.

Everything else will be a bonus.


With that YOU are in charge of YOU. Do not count on someone else to save you from previous mistakes or bad choices. Look for a new choice and do it in a wiser matter!! Make sure you set the details in order to acheive YOUR goal. If someone shows up with anything extra then first of all be extremely greatfull!! Second of all, do not let it slow down your own effort!! Save it for a rainy day. Just make sure your progress is YOUR choice in order to grow an YOUR mistakes and successes. To blame someone or something will keep you in the past and I have yet to meet anyone that have set a goal in their past!! Goals are set for the future and in order to make then you have to grow towards it, this is done by owning yourself and growing yourself. In any way you possibly can. Give yourself credit for everything that happens in life and you will see that life evolves step by step.