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If you blame someone else for something you better start reading in order to get a reality check.

Part of my work as a team leader at work is to listen to people talk and explain the reasons for missing a budget or any other goal they set. One of the best excuses ever is still an ongoing case in one of the workers mind.

The system works like this. We have a certain number of booked meeting the company organizes for us during a month. For a employee being in our company the number is maximum 8, however there is no guarantee for it. The budget for each person is a mach of the number of maximum number of booked meetings.

Mr. L gets a extra meeting from me in order to help him towards budget however he manages to pass the meeting on to someone else on my team. Mr. E grabs the chance and being a good salesrep makes 3 sales on this meeting.

Mr. L has ever since it happened been chasing down Mr. E in order to return the meeting since he feels he lost 3 sales. Every month he comes up with the useless idea that Mr. E has to return the meeting and regrets his former action.

Who or what event do you blame for being unsuccessfull today? This is poison to any chance of acheivement in life. Dragging the past with you is a lot more work than letting the future pull you!!


If you make a choice then stick with it and give the downsides of the choice a proper good bye and do not plan on ever seeing them again. Grab the benefit of the choice and run!! If it turns out to be a bad choice then make a new one however DO NOT try to catch up with your old option, it is gone and your new experience will make you able to create an option never seen before.

The truth is that Mr. L would never have made the three sales at the same meeting. His skills and experience would very likely have cancelled the whole deal and sent our customer into the hands of your competitor. He just can not see this and refuses to realize that his option saved him from a bad experience. He gained more than he lost on the whole deal however in his mind is it a pure loss. He re-lives this loss over and over again, wich is also a choice. If he could just live THIS moment and forward!!


Take a walk, think about the question for a while and see what answers that comes to mind. Write them down and pay attention to them.


Write it down, remember it and stick it to your mind, however this is not the most important part of your reason for making decisions. The goal is simply the result, not the work itself.

Let me explain a bit.

I have a specific goal of buying a house in the neighbourhood. I love the house, it has a fairly big property attached and would truly have enough space for my kids to have visitors, sleepovers. It even comes with a small barn that I can make a climbing wall, photo studio and more that would expand my life.

This is my goal.

However, reversing the thought a bit explains my smaller areas of focus. To get the property I need to sign the contract, in order to sign I need the financing, to get the financing I need to help someone in a way that pays enough.

What do I do and who do I help? This is the key question. It will unlock the rest.

The same journey goes for all new goals no matter how small or big. But you can not go back and help someone that already have been helped. It will not help a bit for Mr L to get a meeting in return unless i gambles on luck. A sales meeting with 3 sales happens maybe 5 times a year among our 20 salespeople. The best would be to determine that he will do what it takes to find 3 customers on his own, the actual rate of sales on booked meeting is about 55%.

Everything else will be a bonus.


With that YOU are in charge of YOU. Do not count on someone else to save you from previous mistakes or bad choices. Look for a new choice and do it in a wiser matter!! Make sure you set the details in order to acheive YOUR goal. If someone shows up with anything extra then first of all be extremely greatfull!! Second of all, do not let it slow down your own effort!! Save it for a rainy day. Just make sure your progress is YOUR choice in order to grow an YOUR mistakes and successes. To blame someone or something will keep you in the past and I have yet to meet anyone that have set a goal in their past!! Goals are set for the future and in order to make then you have to grow towards it, this is done by owning yourself and growing yourself. In any way you possibly can. Give yourself credit for everything that happens in life and you will see that life evolves step by step.

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